Avoiding Seeds of Strife

A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends. (Proverbs 16:28)

A froward man means a man who is fraudulent and perverse. The froward are driven by a desire to sow chaos and strife among people. They are addicted to drama and separate close friends from one another. How? With their words and their actions. As a Spirit-filled believer, make it a point to discern who these individuals are and distance yourself from them.

Scripture tells us we will know a tree by the fruit that it bears. So how do you know what fruit a tree bears if the fruit isn’t yet ripe? You wait. You observe. You watch. There is a reason why the longer that people date, the lower the percentage of divorce is. They have had time to inspect the fruit and watch that person in many scenarios of life.

Appearances can deceive, and people can pretend to be something they are not for quite a while. That is why time needs to be a part of the equation in deciding if we should get close to individuals.

This is true for friends, but it is abundantly truer in romantic relationships. In most of the counseling that my wife and I have done for couples over the years, I firmly believe that at least half of the people we ministered to were married to the wrong person. They fell in love and didn’t use wisdom or discretion and ended up quickly getting into a relationship that made little sense with who they were or what they believed. Many times, problems happen in relationships because people make assumptions and projections about the other person. They don’t have solid information about how they handle situations by observing them. They got mesmerized by good looks, stopped using wisdom, and ended up ruining their life because they married a person who thrives on strife.

Take time to evaluate your acquaintances and see who your genuine friends are. Are they quick to talk about others and sow strife? Are they people who whisper to you about everyone else? They are probably talking about you, too. Do not allow people to be close to you who are also sowing strife and discord.